As I embark on my journey to Nashville, please enjoy all of the people who have been so gracious with their time ( especially during the holidays!!) and wrote guest posts for me!
Thank you Elizabeth, for being so open and honest about your life as a mommy and a blogger!!
Please check out Elizabeths amazing design blog, Little Black Door, for awesome DIY’s and beautiful design ideas!!
Hey Design Thought-ers! I’m Elizabeth from little black door and I’m thrilled to be with you today while Kim is knee-deep in boxes and moving. While most of the chatter on my blog is about design and DIY’s, today I thought I’d talk about something a bit different – blogging and motherhood. Well, mostly motherhood. Of course, it’s also an excuse to show a ridiculous amount of pictures of my cuties.
|Amelia – 5 and Eve – 20 months|
I worked from home for over six years, even before I had my girls. Working from home was a blissful experience – seeing co-workers only for meetings and parties and then the rest of the time in silence – allowing me to get work done in record time and making me feel oh so efficent. So when I went from being a ‘working-from-home-mom’ to a ‘stay-at-home-mom’ this past year, I thought the change wouldn’t be too great. I was wrong. My new ‘co-workers’ could care less if I want to finish writing a post before getting them juice. They have no interest in keeping the living room clean while I try to take pictures of my latest project. And they are unimpressed with what I can do with a staple gun. They are far more demanding than any boss or client I’ve ever had, and they have yet to give me the OK for a sick day. This is the best job I’ve had.
However, this is how many mommy articles end. ‘It’s hard, but I’m so happy to be able to do it’. The ‘I wouldn’t have it any other way’ speech. And while that is true, that ending always makes me feel guilty…and crazy. It makes me feel that if I don’t end each day with a Carol Brady ‘oh you crazy kids’ smile and a Hallmark image of a story before bed, then I’m doing this whole mom thing wrong. Let’s not forget to mention one major thing – this. is. hard. It is a hard, hard job. An infuriating job. A mentally (and physically) exhausting job. A scary job. A job I want to quit many times a day. And a job I feel crazy guilty with luck that I even get to do. I am a walking oxymoron. (and sometimes just a plain moron) Many nights I end my day with a grunt and a glass of wine, wondering how I will do this again tomorrow and thinking about all the things I could have done better today. Believe me, there is not one ounce of Carol Brady in me.
Now my feelings, worries and joys are no different than any other mother – no matter where she spends her day – but I don’t say them out loud, and to other moms, enough. Every mom, I think, needs to hear they aren’t the only one. I think we all know it, but it’s good to hear it. Just as you need to hear ‘I love you’ every once in a while, having someone cheer ‘you aren’t crazy’ in your ear can go along way too. There is no question that I love my girls. No question that I think they are brilliant, hilarious, strong and loving people. But this does not mean that there are not several dozen times in any given day that I want to run into the closet and hide from them – just for 10 minutes of quiet. No one warns you about that at your baby shower.
Each day I learn something new about myself, a new flaw that I need to determine how to work around. Who knew I would turn out to be possibly the worst imagination maker to ever sit on the floor to play. Hand me a Barbie and ask me to ‘play’ – I draw a blank. I have no idea what Barbie should say when riding on the back of a horse with Tinkerbell. But who knew that I’d also be so content to make crafts, draw pictures, finger paint and bake. Sometimes even with my kids. 🙂 Mess be damned. And believe me, there is always a mess.
And although I am a stay-at-home mom I also have other jobs. I have design clients and freelance work that needs to find a slot in days that often don’t even find time to get laundry folded. And where does this time go?! How was I able to get so much done in 8 hours on someone else’s clock, but on my own clock I sometimes can’t even mange to squeeze in a shower? Blogging, in an odd way, has helped me to deal with this. Much like going to the gym, which I swear I’ll really become more consistant about in the new year, blogging has become a practice. Something I do on a regular schedule that is just for me. It keeps my mind healthy.
I don’t often go into detail on my blog about my girls, other than the occasional reference here and there, because it is my selfish vice. It is about MY interests and MY work and I like that I can talk about a million different things that don’t involve Yo Gabba Gabba or ear infections. In the same way I like to go out with my girlfriends to unwind and talk about grown up things, I like to go on my blog and talk with my virtual girlfriends about pretty things. But it isn’t fair, nor honest, to share my home and my work as openly as I do, without sharing some parts of my family life. Because both are instrumental in making me who I am.
Now this isn’t to say that I will start blogging about the diaper I just changed that caused me to open all the windows on a 40 degree day, but I will start to share more of the messy that is mixed in so tightly with the pretty.
Because just as with design, it is the tension in a room, or in life, that makes it interesting.
Thanks Kim for having me, and letting me babble. This has been the hardest post I’ve ever had to write, for no other reason than there are about ten million different things I could/want to say. Maybe this is telling me I need to talk about this stuff more often?! Have a great day everyone. And to all of you moms out there – you are doing a great job.
You can find Elizabeth: