Today my son went back to school. He had three weeks off. The first 2 weeks were awesome. I was lucky that my clients also enjoy family time over the holidays, which creates less stress for me, and more time being “present” with Liam who is 5. However, as week three creeped up on us, it was apparent that we were both READY to get back to our normal routines! I mean, like seriously COUNTING THE hours until school !!! Then, today came, and although I am so happy to get back at normal, I was so sad to see him go. Sad to see him get back to his classroom routine, sad to change out of pajamas before 9 and eat a rushed breakfast.
See, my husband and I made a decision just over 5 years ago, that I would stay home with our soon to be baby, no matter what it took. At the time, I couldn’t imagine leaving to go spend my time anywhere else EXCEPT with this little BEING, that we tried SO hard to create. As time went on, I missed working! I missed being in the design world, and began to work part time for an architect in New York. Then as you know, the story changed, and we moved to Nashville. I knew that I was ready to create Design Thoughts Interiors and STILL be a “present” mom. I knew I was ready to create a Sisterhood Spirit circle, to grow my tribe here in Nashville, and still be a “Present” mom, I knew I wanted to stay open to beautiful possibilities that unfold in front of me, and still be a “present” mom.
The biggest question I get from other moms is: “How do you balance it all”? And my answer is, “Exactly like you do”, with tears and cheers, and accomplishments and failures ( in business and parenting). With guilt and excitement, with a sense of ” This is so hard” and this feels totally easy”. The balance, (for me) comes from sitting through it all, and STILL doing the very best I can. It comes from realizing that some days, look like Rock star accomplishments, and complete presence with whatever I am doing, and some days look like tired, cranky, overwhelm with bad decisions and uncomfortable learning curves. I am a Mama who is also a designer, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So to the mamas out there new and seasoned, allow yourself to create your own balance.
This above photo is a GREAT snapshop of feeling drained.
Here are my top 5 tips for stay at home mama/business owners!! and how to balance it all.
1. Make a plan. This has been a hard one for me, that has taken 2 years and daily phone calls with other Momprenuers to figure out. Set yearly hopes and goals, monthly hopes and goals, and weekly. As a stay at home mom / biz owner ( I have 3 days a week to work) its hard to plan out specifics for a day, when those days may change. So be easy on yourself. Re group at the end of each week.
2. Connect and Check in– Connect with another mom who has a similar workload/situation as you. Its SO much easier to have double the strength when trying to be a mama and a business owner. So many times, I have needed guidance, or a reminder of things we already learned to get me through a work day, and lets be honest, to also get me through some mama days!
3. Personal Development. I know its hard to think of making more time to do something for yourself. Trust me when I tell you that personal development will help in every aspect of your life whether its parenting, being a partner, a business owner, or a mentor. Read or listen to audio books or podcasts. Learn more about what makes you happy. Align yourself with business and spiritual models that fit you. If you are a member of my online newsletter, you will get the list of books that have GREATLY helped me!!! ps, sign up below for my full list of books that have helped me!!
4. Make Decisions out of joy. Lord help me if this hasn’t been the hardest one!! When I say make decisions out of joy, I mean, allow yourself to say NO, to things that will bring DIS-Ease into your life. Now, this is different than saying yes even when fear is present. There will be situations that make you question if you can handle it, or do it, or pull it off. I will help you right now by telling you YES, you can. All of the above. You can achieve it, even if its hard. But making decisions out of joy is different. This means, if it isnt in alignment with your greater purpose of the business you are creating, or your parenting, SAY NO. In the long run, it opens up your schedule to amazing opportunities that FEEL good.
5. Enjoy the ride, except for when it sucks. You don’t have to enjoy all of it. You really dont. Being happy, doing what makes you happy, means growing pains, and learning curves and uncomfortable situations. Its growth. It doesn’t always feel good moment to moment, but I PROMISE you, stay with it if you’re heart is in it, and in the long run, its all going to be worth it. You will see over time, that YES you will have bad days, sometimes even bad weeks, but it doesnt even compare to the good ones!!!
BUT I WANT A COOKIE…=drained
Enjoy 2015!!! I know I will !!
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